always thought i was someone, turned out i was wrong

Is there such a thing as a friend crush? That is to say, a platonic but rather giddy desire to befriend someone? Less of a crush than... a smoosh. You have no interest in sleeping with them, yet you find yourself oddly drawn to them.

Anyway, I have a smoosh on Alton Brown. The culinary expertise, the extreme geekiness... faaaantastic. I've been glutting myself on DVR'ed 'Good Eats,' so I'm interested to see what his new show will be like, as food + travel = yes.

I've been feeling a little off this week. Right now, nothing seems satisfactory. Even a small dose of budget retail therapy didn't cheer me up, although these tumblers I found at Target are totally adorable. I have no idea what's causing this malaise. Particularly since I haven't been this optimistic and excited about my future since I graduated college. I have a plan! A good plan! I should be excited and happy and hopeful and giddy! And I am. Moreso once I have a few things (i.e., job, acceptance letters) under my belt.

But maybe it's not the future that's weirding me out; perhaps I've been thinking too much about my past lately. There was something unsettling about the hangover I woke up with on Monday morning... it was almost like 10 years of emotional and personal residue were leeching into my system along with the toxins from the previous evening's ginfest. I don't really want to get into details here, but so many of my memories from the past decade make me feel a little uneasy. That's not to say I look upon my past with regret, nothing of the sort, but I just wish I'd been a little less... silly.

Anyway, I have an early pilates class tomorrow (back at the gym for me! Running in the park was fun, but I started to get nervous about being on my own in such a remote area) so I should be off to bed. I'm actually reading The Stand now, which is Not Bad in a very pulpy way. I've never read any Stephen King before, although my brother was quite a fan when we were growing up. I have a feeling, though, that this might be a bit of a McBook... cheap ($7.99 at the supermarket), filling (1135 pages), but leaves you feeling a little dirty. I'm only 150 pages in, so we'll see.